We’ve all lied, haven’t we? Sometimes we tell small fibs to get out of sticky situations while sometimes, we tell huge lies just to save our asses. Either way, every human being on this planet is guilty of lying. Which is okay, except when it’s not. If someone is purposely lying to you with an intent of hurting or harming you, then you need to work on distinguishing if someone is lying, so that you can avoid being in a pickle in the future. But how do you go about doing that?
How to Tell If Someone Is Lying
There are many signs that can help you spot a liar. Some are obvious while some are very subtle. And of course, it goes without saying that 1-2 signs from the list below should not be used to single someone out – maybe they do it out of habit or because of their personality/nature. However, if they display 3-4 or more signs listed below, you can be assured they are lying to you.
1. There are long pauses
Sometimes, people pause to recollect old memories, which is perfectly natural. However, liars tend to pause too because in their heads, they are quickly constructing lies upon lies to sell to you. This trait is displayed more by amateurs than novices.
2. Give way too many details
The thing about memories is that we remember them as a whole. You’ll remember your graduation day, the rush you felt, and everybody’s smiling face. But if someone asked you what your classmate’s mom was wearing that day, you’d draw a blank, right? Because it’s impossible for an average human being to be able to recall such minute details.
So, when it comes to how to tell if someone is lying, keep an eye out for excessive details in stories. Because in all likelihood, those details are made up to make you believe something that isn’t there, just to make their lies more believable.
3. Pay attention to jaw movement
Often when people lie, their bodies’ psychological response will tend to dry up their throats. In order to moisten their throats, they will do something that will appear odd in a normal situation – moving their jaws back and forth. Their bodies are going into “fight and flight” mode which is an involuntary reaction, and you can use it to your advantage to know whether or not they’re lying to you.
4. They’re still
Sure, they could simply be stuck up or too proper. But the more likely reason is that they’re stiff because they’re lying to you. They’re trying to avoid giving you any telltale signs through their body language which may tell you they are being dishonest. Always remember that people who are honest always have a more relaxed posture.
5. Lack body gestures
Here comes another tip on how to tell if someone is lying. See, when you’re telling the truth especially an engrossing story, you tend to accentuate your story with hand and body gestures, as well as facial expressions. It’s just natural. But if a person’s body is lacking such indicators or making improper body languages, then you can be sure they’re lying.
6. Eye the exit
This trait is common with military personnel – the moment they enter a room, they immediately scout for exits as an involuntary response of their training where they always need to have an escape route ready. However, the average person only looks out for exits or doors when they feel trapped, and that is because of their constant lies. It’s their body’s natural reaction when being put in an uncomfortable situation out of which they need to get out ASAP. An extension would be pointing their feet towards the exit.
7. Change in words or language
Granted, this only works with people whom you interact with on a regular basis. But it’s a solid way to know if someone is lying. People use language that distances them from the situation when lying. An example would be: Instead of saying "I lost Emma’s handbag.” they would say, "Emma’s handbag was misplaced by me” or something like that. This is one of those tells that occur on a subconscious level and you have to be very attentive while observing it.
8. Move their heads back
This is one of the more subtle signs that help you spot a liar. Tilting head backwards is nothing but a psychological response – people want to maintain as much distance as they can from the person they are lying to, who also happens to be the reason why they are so nervous or anxious. And an extension would be leaning their bodies backwards. Same concept, except now their entire body is involved.
9. Protect their suprasternal notch
This notch is based at the very bottom of the centre of your neck. It’s a very vulnerable part of the human body, so when the mind feels threatened, anxious or nervous, many times people's first response would be to protect this spot. With men, it could be loosening their collar or necktie, while with women it could be tugging or grabbing their scarves or necklaces.
10. Change in the pitch of their voice
Often, people who are lying tend to speak in a higher pitch than normal. How to tell if someone is lying? You just have to be smart about your conversation. Begin by discussing normal topics with them, and notice their voice’s pitch. Then shift to the topic you really want to know about, and then see how they react to that topic and whether or not their pitch is modulated accordingly.